• Marriage is the union of two people who are in love and have plans for a full life together that include goals, family, vacations, etc. Unfortunately, there sometimes exists a villain within all these plans and dreams — betrayal. Like a phantom, it affects many couples and disrupts an otherwise strong, peaceful marriage replacing trust with fear, distrust and anxiety.

    Betrayal is something that no couple ever wants to go through, as it is always painful for everyone involved. This is a game where there are no winners.

    After learning about an affair or betrayal, many couples have said that they found out that something (or many things) had changed in their relationship. Here are some signs to look for if you suspect that your spouse is having an affair.

  • Eye contact

    Your eyes are the window to the soul. If your spouse is having an affair, he/she often won’t make direct eye contact with you. The sparkle in his/her eyes changes or is nonexistent. Not looking at you at all is another sign.

  • Talking

    The lack of interest in talking with you about day-to-day things, resolving problems or even losing interest in goals you have made together.

  • Lack of desire for intimacy

    This can be attributed to several issues (daily routines, work and children), but it can also be a sign that your spouse is spending time with someone else.

  • The computer

    Lots of betrayals and affairs begin on the computer. Pay attention to how long he/she is on the computer and the internet late at night and when he/she isn’t working. Hiding and changing email passwords and hiding emails are big signs. Also, watch his/her reaction when you unexpectedly enter the room where he/she is using the computer.

  • Arriving home late or disappearing for long periods

    When he/she says he/she will arrive at a certain time and he/she frequently doesn’t and fails to provide a valid reason. Or he/she frequently says something like, “I’m going to the ATM, I will be back soon,” and he/she doesn’t return for long time.

  • Cell phone

    One indication of potential infidelity is if he/she rarely (or never)never answers his/her cell phone when you call. When you are together and his/her cell phone rings, see if he/her immediately leaves the area to talk.

  • Sudden acts of kindness

    If he/she randomly comes home with flowers or random acts of kindness without an explanation. This could mean that he/she feels guilty about something.

  • Budget

    Be aware if your budget suddenly isn’t working out. You might notice large, unexplained expenses that he either claims he/she knows nothing about or shows a lack of emotion about.

  • Fights

    You are constantly fighting over everything — even seemingly small things that were never an issue before. Suddenly, he/she complains about everything, has little patience and is often angry when he/she comes home. This could me that he/she is attempting to justify his/her behavior by blaming problems on the person he/she is betraying.

  • Love (or the lack of)

    He/she doesn’t kiss you, hug you, or show his/her affection for you, or rarely says “I love you.”

    These are just some signs that could indicate that he/she is possibly having an affair, but not always. Lots of couples could be going through a crisis or some problems. Unfortunately, affairs and betrayals often start because of a crisis with the relationship such as financial issues. Do what you can to save your marriage, but be careful, never judge, and don’t make the mistake of becoming paranoid. If you suspect an affair, don’t guess, be certain about the situation before you make any decisions.

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